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Or so I thought. Apparently love is only the whole of the law if you carry your reproductive parts on the inside.

Well it looks like I pissed someone off. Debi (a self proclaimed women's liberationist) of the Corvid Diaries has taken some offense to just about every word I have posted over the last few days. Some have been addressed in the comments of this previous post here. Another one I think deserves front page attention so I'm responding to it below.

Debi said: "I'm actually disgusted that anybody would presume to speak with the words of the goddess, and in such a patronising tone. It is utterly disrespectful both to the goddess and to all women of earth to do so."

Rhondda said: (commented on the Corvid Diaries) "Yes, I do agree with you. I really dislike making the Goddess a monotheistic entity. For me she is life in all her diversity. She is not an either/or and she is not a role to play. She is deep connection and as Mary Daly says a verb and not a noun."

See all comments from Debi's post here: Apparently Even the Goddess can be Patronizing Sometimes...


The Goddess (emphasis on THE) has a million names and faces, yet remains ONE. All life is a manifestation of her which means all life is divine. This also means both men and women are Goddess. Re: All Things Are Goddess. By presuming that no one can speak with the words of the Goddess you only succeed in making her out to be that monotheistic deity who is untouchable, not connected to her creation, etc. Sheesh, why not just call her Yahweh? She is both verb and noun and everything in between. There is no way to say she is this and not that. She is unlimited and never black and white. You make her what you want her to be and that's fine, but not when it's solely to fit into your argument and help you rationalize all of the injustice you yourself are causing.

She is not a role to play? Are you even Pagan? First of all no one needs to play at the role because we already are Goddess. Second, that's exactly what a priestess does every time she performs ritual - whether she in a group or solitary. See Drawing Down the Moon (the ritual not the book). Embodiment of the Goddess is what's supposed to happen.

I am willing to bet that if my comments weren't presumed to be anti-fem than I would've gotten "lovely post" or at the very least nothing at all. But because certain sensibilities were stepped on now it's fair game on the little Goddessian girl who believes she is divine - as Goddess teaches. How dare I? Rest assured it won't be the last time I "presume" to be Goddess. While you're blasting me about it do be sure to trample on Doreen Valiente, Starhawk, and countless others who have dared to speak the words of the Goddess. *gasp*

By the way, did you even read the first paragraph of that post? If flat out says I asked myself what would Goddess do and that's what came out. I said this is what I think she would say. When did I ever claim to be speaking for her or anyone else?

Wow, someone says something positive and this is what happens? Someone basically says "let's love each other" and this is what happens? And yet the statement "all men are rapists" (because all men are capable of rape apparently) gets applause. Well it's finally happened. I've officially slipped into a crazy cosmic bunny hole of nonsense. That's just the most ridiculous, sexist BS I've ever had the displeasure of reading. What an outlandish statement. Kudos for having brass ones, by the way. I'm ashamed to be of the same species, let alone the same gender of someone who could utter such rubbish. Why not just say all people are murderers because we're all capable of it? Anyone and everyone is "capable" of every atrocity ever committed. Wake up!

Men are not evil and woman are not just the sweet, unconditionally loving, innocent victims. I am no one's victim and I will not allow myself to follow a line of thinking that has women acting like they are rabid animals trapped in a friggin' cage. Seriously, that kind of attitude towards men is reminiscent of Hitler's attitude toward the Jews. Watch out! Here comes the gestapo! "Where are zee men? We must take zem and cut zeir nuts off!" Take your self righteous indignation and passive-aggressive sexual terrorism somewhere else.

As those of you who visit often know, I rarely get this fired up. Funny thing is, I'm not really all that mad. I'm happy and having a great day. People are smiling, life is good. I tend to think of my posts as usually pretty positive. Unless of course I'm bitching about Kirk Cameron or something. :) I try very hard to address comments and different opinions as politely as possible. Everyone deserves to have their say. This is the main reason I don't moderate comments and I allow for anonymous people to post. But, I think this is the first and last I'm going to say about this situation in an actual blog post. While there may be comments pouring in eventually I won't be taking it the front page again. Well unless I get pissed enough to do so. *wink* Yay for blogs: creative/bitching outlets.

pic: Light from the Heart Nebula from Astronomy Pic of the Day

Labels: blog response, Feminism, men are goddess, Op-ed, ramblings, sexism, the goddess means true sexual equality, the sexes

Yet more comments that I posted over at Unmasking the Goddess. These in response to this post right here. I just can't seem to help myself.

"I believe God got it right in Eden when he put a Woman and Man in charge, together. That, I believe, should be our goal, neither elevating nor denigrating one sex over the other."

And Goddess worshippers believe this as well. Separation is not an idea that is embraced. Instead, there is an idea of Oneness that we believe the Goddess embodies. She is both male and female.

The idea of engendering God is something people do to connect with something that is basically hard to comprehend. The concept of God is huge. The human brain is not even capable of grasping the idea of infinite space, let alone the vast concept of God.

I think everyone has pictured God with human qualities before. Though we may believe God is a being beyond gender - or a being that contains both sexes - we do not imagine God as a hermaphrodite or as an androgynous or asexual being.

The ideas behind masculine and feminine represent metaphors that people can relate to and connect with. And, in my opinion, as long as one is reaching to understand the true nature of divinity what should it matter what tools are used to relate to that deity? You see, I believe your God is the same being as my Goddess. We just invision them differently. I believe there is only one being seen by the people of the world in many different ways.

And these comments were in response to this post on feminism being a dirty word.

Given the supplied definition of feminism, shouldn't everyone be a feminist? It's a shame there even needs to be a word for this since it should simply be natural for women to be seen as equal to men.

In Goddess communities I have struggled with the idea of feminism. I have always felt that I didn't want something that seemed so wholly politically motivated to describe my spiritual beliefs. Instead, I believe the Goddess teaches us about Oneness that overcomes gender.

Labels: divine gender, Feminism, Goddess, Unmasking the Goddess

Apparently this news is two years old, but it's brand new to me.

From Wikipedia

In 2005, inventor Sonette Ehlers introduced the "Rapex", an anti-rape female condom which can be inserted into the vaginal canal like a diaphragm. The product is lined with barbs which attach to a rapist's penis and which must be surgically removed. In an article about the Rapex, Ehlers stated that she was inspired to invent the device after meeting a victim who told her, "If only I had teeth down there."

From TimesOnline.co.uk

FURIOUS South African women have called for a controversial new anti-rape device, dubbed a “rat trap”, to be banned by the Government.

The tampon-like device, invented by a woman, supposedly protects women from rapists by cutting into a man’s penis.

It has sparked an empassioned debate over the high number of rapes committed each day in the country and the authorities’ apparent failure to tackle the issue.

Activists are outraged and want to stop it going on sale alongside tampons in chemists and supermarkets next month.

Charlene Smith, a leading anti-rape campaigner, said: “This is a medieval instrument, based on male-hating notions and fundamentally misunderstands the nature of rape and violence against women in this society. It is vengeful, horrible, and disgusting. The woman who invented this needs help.”

I'm just not sure how I feel about this. As usual, I had an initial response then thought about the issue and identified the other side of it.

Being familiar with the concept of a Vagina Dentata that's what immediately came to my mind. I thought this device was a rather empowering idea - at first. But, the more I think about it the reason men rape seems to rarely be based on the sex act alone. There are typically a whole lot of deep seeded mental issues (or a society in need of education and female liberation) involved that getting your penis caught in a barbed vice isn't necessarily going to cure.

So, is this actually some archaic device created by a woman who hates men and perhaps has her own issues to deal with - that creating dentures for her girl parts isn't going to fix? Or is it a way to prevent rape and catch rapists in countries where little is being done for violated women? What do you think?

Labels: Feminism, Misc. Commentary, Misc. News, vagina, vagina dentata

I was reading Deborah Lipp's blog, Property of a Lady, the other day and found a post entitled Harassment in an Elevator.

At first I totally bought this article. I was like "Yeah, those guys suck. Society is screwed..." Then I took a shower and thought about it. I mean really thought about it. The conclusions I came up with were much different than my initial reaction.

Then, in the interest of getting all the facts, I wandered over to where the post originated from and saw some pictures. Firstly, I'm not saying this woman is not attractive but she certainly does not look like a stripper. I think it's the leotard. She looks more like a dancer. Strippers typically don't shop at the same places ballet dancers do. And the gloves or wristlets she's got on say "costume" for sure.

So, after gathering my facts and giving this some serious thought I now have a well formulated opinion. Or something like it. Below is the original article and below that is what I have to say about it. You can choose to only scroll half way if you're not interested in my thoughts.

Until, going to the bathrooms on the second floor alone**, I stepped into the elevator. It was filled with men who were all taller than me, and not wearing WisCon badges. They looked surprised and pleased as I got in. And I felt uneasy and self-conscious before I had time to think of why.

“Well, hey, now,” one guy murmured. “Hey there.”

“Yeah,” another chuckled.

“Second floor, please,” I said.

“Hey!” someone else said. “What’s going on on that floor?”

“Costume party.”

“Well, can we go?”

They laughed appreciatively. I said “No.” And I got out.

And that was it. They didn’t say anything foul, they certainly didn’t touch me, and it wasn’t even close to harassment by the standards of our society. So why was I shaky and scared and angry afterwards?

Two things:

1) At the costume ball, my clothing – fishnets, black leotard, blonde wig - was coded “superhero”. In the elevator, it was coded “stripper”.

2) Everyone is conditioned to assess women primarily by how sexually attractive and/or available they appear to be. Making that assessment clear is normal. Vocalizing that assessment is normal. Blaming women for others harassing or abusing them based on how attractive they are or what they were wearing at the time is normal.

If you’re gearing up to say something like “But nothing really bad happened!” or “Well, what did you expect?” or “Come on, weren’t you looking for attention?”, or “They were just being nice!”: don’t.

I know that those men almost certainly meant me no harm; they probably thought expressing a wish to follow me to a party was a compliment. It is entirely possible that none of them have ever imagined being in an enclosed space with a group of big strangers eyeing you up and asking if they can come with you could be a frightening experience. Our culture is set up so that they’ve never had to.

This and like incidents have happened to me, like many women, time and time again: strange men telling me to “smile!”; strange men shouting “Show us your tits!” as they drive past; strange men groping my breasts and ass in crowded train carriages.

(Women also buy into the patriarchal imperative to judge women primarily by their physical appearance, and that is also extremely unpleasant. However, as it is far less likely that women will follow such assessment with rape or other violent crime, it is generally much less threatening when a woman says, “You look like a whore.”)

If a woman doesn’t want to be viewed – for some weird reason - as a sex object, her choices are limited. She can be visibly angry or ignore harassment, in which case she is a FRIGID BITCH who can’t take a COMPLIMENT from NICE GUYS. Or she can be pleasant in an attempt to show them she’s actually a human being, in which case she may be ASKING FOR further “compliments” with her MIXED SIGNALS.

Or she can stay at home.
- Karen of Girls Read Comics (And They’re Pissed)

Now for my thoughts...err rant. Stop reading now if you suspect this might piss you off and you're not in the mood. :)

"I felt uneasy and self-conscious before I had time to think of why."

If you're uneasy and self-conscious why is that someone else's fault? I have been in this situation numerous times, and while being surrounded by a bunch of strange men can be somewhat intimidating, it doesn't have to be. Why not make it an empowering situation? At that moment they were admiring the woman walking into the elevator. She made a conscious choice to feel uneasy and nervous. She could have chosen to feel powerful and even beautiful.

Let's face it folks, we're animals. Animals are driven by instinct. Our instincts tell us to be attracted to someone or not. Men are easily attracted to a woman who appears to be fun, interesting, and yes clad in tight clothes. Remember that our ancestors didn't wear clothes. The body is a big turn on. Anyway, I digress.

Men (straight men) are hard wired to be attracted to women. It's just a biological fact. And thank goodness for it or there would be no people on this planet. It is this drive to reproduce (in conjunction with the natural nurturing qualities of women) that is responsible for the thriving human race. If we expect men to honor us for being what makes us women - bleeding, birthing, nursing, emotional-izing, multi-tasking, powerful women - then why shouldn't we honor them for what makes them men? Yes they are sex driven and yes most of them have the will power to control those desires. But they can't control the every-seven-minute sexual thoughts any more than we can control the blood that pours from our wombs.

Now, before I get the whip let me clarify that I do not believe women should should be seen or used as objects. But admiring a beautiful woman in an elevator is far from objectifying her.

I've been married to the same man for almost 11 years. In that time his libido has not slowed down for a second. For a long time I would get annoyed when he told me I was hot or that he thought I looked sexy. I thought that was his feeble attempt at getting into my pants. In a way, that's true, but at the same time this is how a lot of men know how to show interest, affection, and desire for their partner. In short it's a normal working of the human brain to want to be desired and to desire someone else.

My main point here: You can choose to feel powerful instead of weak. You can choose to be a gorgeous and confident woman who can wrap a man around her finger. Or you can choose to be a frightened little girl with confidence issues. There are thousands of women who would love to be shown a little (appropriate) attention by a bunch of men.

This leads me to another point.

"Everyone is conditioned to assess women primarily by how sexually attractive and/or available they appear to be."

No kidding. And women do the same thing with men. Are you going to go up and talk to the unattractive guy at the bar who looks like he might not have showered in a week or are you going to catch the eye of the hunky 6 foot guy with nice hair? Again, this is another biological instinct. We go for the people who appear to have the better genes or jeans. Physical attraction is huge. Imagine being in a relationship with a really nice guy who couldn't turn you on. One word: Hell.

American men could use some changing. This is very true. Mostly I think they should learn to be more cultured, less interested in football, and more vocal with their emotions without having their buddies question their sexuality. And absolutely many of them could learn to appreciate and honor women instead of objectifying them. Let's just keep things in perspective and remember that they are men - human - and they can't control their hormones any more than we can.

To close I am going to clarify a few things.

- There is a big difference between admiration and harassment.
- There is a big difference between attraction and objectification.
- There is a big difference between showing someone attention and raping them.
- There is a double standard for men that shouldn't be there. Men are Goddess too.
- There is a choice in everything.

Now bring on the flogging.

Labels: Feminism, Misc. Commentary, Misc. Mutterings, Op-ed