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moon phases

Present State

I am feeling frustrated and slightly overwhelmed. I am trying hard to come to grips with my beliefs and the understanding that everything is exactly the way it is supposed to be - everything happens for a reason, etc. But then I have to ask myself why it hurts so much in this present state - why I feel so completely lost. There is this ache in the pit of my stomach, telling me that something just doesn't fit anymore.

I think this is a turning point of some kind and perhaps it is time for me to seclude myself for a period and work to figure some things out. Ah, leave it to the season of Spring to boil up all the nagging issues that life seems to gather.

Anyone else feeling a sudden frustration?
I am frustrated with myself for not taking advantage of an opportunity I currently have for learning about a tradition I'm interested in. I have the booklist and a close-knit online group to discuss and explore it with... but I'm barely participating. And now I feel so far behind everyone else, I don't know how to catch up. Or motivate myself to do so. I feel stuck and I'm frustrated with myself because I know its my own fault.
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